For the past two seasons of The Bachelorette I have been hosting a watching party at my place with two gal pals. Sometimes we bring our own food, sometimes we order in, but lately I’ve been making dinner for the three of us. It's an adventure for me, while I’m an excellent hostess I haven’t always succeeded in the dinner category. I tend to take on too much, run out of time and then spend the first half of my get together fussing over the not yet cooked food.
Last week I had been out of town the whole week before and had only picked up a few items at the grocery store and moderately straightened up my place. That Monday, I confirmed the gals were coming over and thought about what I had at home that could turn into dinner. I came up with broccoli cheddar omelets. They were delicious.
As we sat around the coffee table eating eggs and critiquing the ridiculousness that is reality TV dating, I thought to myself, this is entertaining. Whipping up something to eat and enjoying the company of others in my home, blissfully ignoring that my floors needed a wash and I should probably also dust. EASY PEASY.
Successful entertaining isn’t about fancy dishes and spotless condos. It is about your friends being comfortable in your home and wanting to spend time with you there. It doesn’t matter whether the ironing board is up in your hallway or that you ordered pizza instead of cooking something from scratch.
Sometimes you want a menu that impresses… like brined pork chops with pineapple glaze, roasted potatoes, green beans and to finish, a chocolate orange torte. When you serve that meal, you’ll probably also want to clean the floors and put away the dishes. Most of the time, though, you should stop stressing about the details and enjoy the experience that is sharing your home with others.
It wouldn’t hurt to take a quick run through your bathroom to make sure there’s toilet paper, though. Just because you’re a relaxed hostess doesn’t mean you should leave your guests empty handed.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
The Rules of Introduction are Simple.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
3
Recently I sat at a bar and watched the televisions, Sex and the City on one and ESPN baseball highlights on the other, nursing my beer, trying to figure out a way to entertain myself.
I wasn’t there alone, I was with a guy I sometimes date, who knew the bar owner and several of the bartenders. It seems they played on a basketball league together, or refereed in the same league, or both, I don’t really know. They were also both involved in the supporting the street festival that was happening that weekend, that we had just come from.
I am perfectly capable of having conversations with strangers, or showing interest in conversations I know nothing about, but it had been a long day and I found myself trying to figure out what I should be doing in this particular situation.
I hadn’t been introduced to them, you see, and they were so familiar with each other it seemed out of place for me to introduce myself. Plus my pseudo-date seemed blithely unaware of what social etiquette called for. I couldn’t think of the right way to explain it to him.
THE RULES OF INTRODUCTION ARE SIMPLE: INTRODUCE PEOPLE. When you bring someone to an event with multiple people, take a few minutes to walk your someone around the group and make introductions. Give them an “in”, their association to you, so they feel comfortable striking up conversations on their own (Hot Tip: This will also reduce your need to baby-sit).
When you are with someone and run into someone else you know, you should introduce those people to each other. Do so early in the conversation so your someone doesn't just stand there, not knowing who you're talking to. They’ll probably just look interested and nod their head, but at least they're not some random person your friend is looking at thinking, who is that person?
This can get tricky, for example when you yourself don’t remember the name of the person you’ve just run into. If you’re only going to chat for a minute, you could be okay to skip the introduction. If you’re going to chat with that person for awhile, though, there’s really no way to get around starting the introduction and apologizing for not remembering the individual’s name. It can be uncomfortable, especially if you really should know their name. The sneaky option, which I use, is to pre-warn all my friends that if I haven’t introduced them right away it’s because I don’t remember the name of the person we’ve run into, and they should go ahead and introduce themselves.
It can be delicate yes, but while it is awkward to not remember the name of random people you see, it is unequivocally rude to leave the person you’re with out of the conversation. You don’t want them spacing out at the bar watching TV without sound or closed captioning. At least in my case there were popcorn snacks.
I wasn’t there alone, I was with a guy I sometimes date, who knew the bar owner and several of the bartenders. It seems they played on a basketball league together, or refereed in the same league, or both, I don’t really know. They were also both involved in the supporting the street festival that was happening that weekend, that we had just come from.
I am perfectly capable of having conversations with strangers, or showing interest in conversations I know nothing about, but it had been a long day and I found myself trying to figure out what I should be doing in this particular situation.
I hadn’t been introduced to them, you see, and they were so familiar with each other it seemed out of place for me to introduce myself. Plus my pseudo-date seemed blithely unaware of what social etiquette called for. I couldn’t think of the right way to explain it to him.
THE RULES OF INTRODUCTION ARE SIMPLE: INTRODUCE PEOPLE. When you bring someone to an event with multiple people, take a few minutes to walk your someone around the group and make introductions. Give them an “in”, their association to you, so they feel comfortable striking up conversations on their own (Hot Tip: This will also reduce your need to baby-sit).
When you are with someone and run into someone else you know, you should introduce those people to each other. Do so early in the conversation so your someone doesn't just stand there, not knowing who you're talking to. They’ll probably just look interested and nod their head, but at least they're not some random person your friend is looking at thinking, who is that person?
This can get tricky, for example when you yourself don’t remember the name of the person you’ve just run into. If you’re only going to chat for a minute, you could be okay to skip the introduction. If you’re going to chat with that person for awhile, though, there’s really no way to get around starting the introduction and apologizing for not remembering the individual’s name. It can be uncomfortable, especially if you really should know their name. The sneaky option, which I use, is to pre-warn all my friends that if I haven’t introduced them right away it’s because I don’t remember the name of the person we’ve run into, and they should go ahead and introduce themselves.
It can be delicate yes, but while it is awkward to not remember the name of random people you see, it is unequivocally rude to leave the person you’re with out of the conversation. You don’t want them spacing out at the bar watching TV without sound or closed captioning. At least in my case there were popcorn snacks.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
You should always, always RSVP
Sunday, July 12, 2009
0
RSVP, from the French phrase "répondez, s'il vous plaît," means "please reply." Since in English it is usually preceded by an additional please, as in “Please RSVP”, it actually translates to Please, PLEASE RSVP.
Why such a focus on letting the host know whether you’ll be in attendance? Because successful parties don’t appear out of thin air. Hosting an event involves planning and coordination in advance. It almost always requires knowing the number of guests so that the host can provide the correct amount of seating, favors, food and drink.
Hosting takes time and effort and money. These things the host does, for you, the guests, so that all can take part in honoring a specific guest or just having a great time. All they ask in return is the courtesy of your response as to whether you will be in attendance.
And yet, wedding after birthday party after baby shower, some of you refuse to extend this courtesy. It's completely unacceptable and you should stop doing it, immediately.
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS, ALWAYS RSVP to events requesting one. You should RSVP early, well in advance of the response date, should one be provided. I even think that the most courteous thing to do when you cannot firmly RSVP is to replay with a “likely yes“ or “likely no“ early on, and provide your final response closer to the event.
There are lots of things you should not be doing.
If you don’t respect the host or the guest of honor or if you don’t appreciate their efforts to include you in an event, then by all means, demonstrate that by withholding your RSVP. Otherwise, muster up the social grace to reply to the host with a simple Yes or No. It’s the least you can do.
Why such a focus on letting the host know whether you’ll be in attendance? Because successful parties don’t appear out of thin air. Hosting an event involves planning and coordination in advance. It almost always requires knowing the number of guests so that the host can provide the correct amount of seating, favors, food and drink.
Hosting takes time and effort and money. These things the host does, for you, the guests, so that all can take part in honoring a specific guest or just having a great time. All they ask in return is the courtesy of your response as to whether you will be in attendance.
And yet, wedding after birthday party after baby shower, some of you refuse to extend this courtesy. It's completely unacceptable and you should stop doing it, immediately.
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS, ALWAYS RSVP to events requesting one. You should RSVP early, well in advance of the response date, should one be provided. I even think that the most courteous thing to do when you cannot firmly RSVP is to replay with a “likely yes“ or “likely no“ early on, and provide your final response closer to the event.
There are lots of things you should not be doing.
- You should not, under any circumstances, RSVP to the guest of honor. RSVPs go to the host, and giving yours to the guest of honor is flat out lazy. It also means that they now have to RSVP for you.
- You should not make the hostess track you down to get your RSVP, forcing them to ask you personally, or have to get your contact information from other guests or even worse, the guest of honor.
- You should not make excuses for why you didn’t RSVP on time. You’re a grown up, who should be capable of managing your own schedule. If you do RSVP late, just apologize.
- You should not ask the guest of honor about the RSVP due date or other details of the event. Guests of honor are meant to attend events, not host them. Besides the fact that they often aren’t given details outside of where and when to show up, you were given host information on your initiation and you should direct any questions you have their way.
If you don’t respect the host or the guest of honor or if you don’t appreciate their efforts to include you in an event, then by all means, demonstrate that by withholding your RSVP. Otherwise, muster up the social grace to reply to the host with a simple Yes or No. It’s the least you can do.
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