Party Tip #1: Location, Location, Location.

To plan a really great event you have to focus on something in particular, besides the wishes of the guest of honor. Once you figure that out, the rest usually falls right into place. If you want to plan an event without a lot of extra hands-on activity, you focus on location. With the right location, all you usually have to do is show up and have a great time.

Take a recent baby shower I helped plan. We had a small group of people and our mom-to-be had already had two family showers so we knew we wanted to do something a little less traditional. We also wanted it to be fairly straightforward and a little “city”. We landed at meeting for dinner at a restaurant.

It took awhile to figure out the location. I wanted there to be enough room for us and the gifts, but I didn’t want it to be crazy expensive, or at a place you’d need to do a package deal or anything like that. There are a million restaurants in Chicago and I just couldn’t settle on one that had the vibe I wanted.

And then E. and I hit upon it when eating at this great Chicago place that we love and always ask “why don‘t we come here more often?” every time we go. It’s totally local, serving really delicious organic food, and it’s all eclectic coffee house inside. Basically, it was perfect.

After that, everything fell right into place. Reservation in the back room with extra table for gifts, check. Delicious mac-n-cheese pre-ordered as starter for everyone, check (It’s a favorite of the mom-to-be and decidedly personal touch). Custom cake from local bakery ordered by the restaurant, check. All over email, all done in a matter of days.

Invitations were sent and then we basically just showed up. We added a few decorative touches, of course, but no one was running around that weekend making a diaper cake or canapés.

The best parties are where the guests get together and enjoy themselves, all while making the guest of honor feel special and loved. At this shower, I just put a fun group of her gal pals at the same table over great food in a cozy restaurant. And then I had them eat cake off of monkey plates.

Planning an event for someone doesn’t have to be stressful and time consuming, and it doesn’t mean you put any less of yourself into it if you didn’t hand paint the name tags. PARTY TIP #1: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. Think about the kind of event you want to have. Find somewhere great to have it where you don’t have to fuss over all the details. Add a little whimsy with a gigantic monkey balloon.

You just planned the perfect party. You’re Welcome.

Life Lessons: Embrace the Quirk!

I just got stopped by a colleague who was trying to figure out what I was doing with my hands while I was walking down the hall. I told him I was spatial, that using my hands helped me think better (This is mostly true. I pretty much use my hands all the time when talking, whether I’m trying to organize my thoughts or not). He thought it was hysterical, but another colleague who was behind us obviously thought it was just dumb, making fun of my hand motions. A few minutes later that colleague passed me again in the hall, saying he was thinking while making hand motions. I could tell he was enjoying himself, ridiculing tone or not.

You know what I said, of course. You’re Welcome! Using his hands probably won’t help that man think better, but it likely made his afternoon more fun than it had been.

It got me thinking about what differentiates blah people from the spectacular ones, people who seem to be having fun all the time versus people who are always grumpy. I think it’s knowing and embracing the quirks, and fortunately I’m surrounded by people who have plenty (myself included).

For example, I have a friend who loves green onions, only we don’t call them that, we strictly refer to them by their more posh name, scallions. And whenever either of us see them on a menu inform the other with a “Scallion Alert!” It’s completely unnecessary, and yet it makes me feel like we have a connection even when we’re in entirely different locations doing entirely different things.

I also have a friend who meows. She uses it as an exclamation and also in place of words when meow-ing along to songs. I enjoy it so much, I find myself doing it.

The oddities of your friends and those peculiar things you do with them are what make your relationships with them so special. In some cases, it’s probably the main reason you hang out with them in the first place. My mother stated it best. Whenever she points out something silly I’m doing she says "I’m just enjoying you".

I say, EMBRACE THE QUIRK! Both your own and those of the folks around you. Don’t belittle someone’s personality traits just because they aren’t your own. You may think you’re above all that nonsense but all you’re doing is making yourself unlikeable and limiting your own enjoyment.

The next time you run across a girl doing a cheerleading routine on the corner take notice that the folks around her are laughing just as hysterically as she is. She doesn’t need you to feel sorry for her, you see, she’s in on the joke. You’re the one missing out on all the fun.

The Direct Correct: Bad Behavior is Calling

I have a number stored in my cell phone with the name “crazy guy”. I don’t know the person who owns the number, I just know that he speaks a language other than English and is incapable of not calling me, when he is so clearly trying to reach someone else.

There were a few random calls initially, always with voicemails, always in pairs of two calls one after the other. I found it sort of odd that someone speaking some Middle Eastern language wouldn’t realize he had the wrong number when my clearly American voice mail started talking, but I let it go.

I kept the getting the calls, though, so I sent back a text message one day that said something like “I think you have the wrong number, the person you are trying to reach is not me and please stop calling me”.

And still I kept getting the calls. When I got them last week at happy hour we saved the number as “crazy guy” and when he made his typical 2nd call, my friend answered. She told the guy he had the wrong number.

A few days after that, I answered the phone when he called and told him he had the wrong number. I asked him to make a correction as he had consistently been calling it and it was the not the number of whoever he was looking for. He said sorry, but then he called me about 10 minutes later. We had the same conversation again. He seemed even sorrier.

He called during work today, and we again had the same “this is the wrong number” conversation we had had before only my tone was much stronger. More apologies, but I’m expecting a few more calls. He’s clearly not very intelligent.

Why do I tell you this story? It’s another example of THE DIRECT CORRECT! The Direct Correct is when someone does something inappropriate that you can admonish them for without worrying about hurting their feelings. Calling the wrong number also includes the ability to escalate your tone and shortness with the offender as they continue to make the clear mistake over and over. I’m not advocating being mean, of course, but it can be a good release to be firm with someone when they’re out of line and those opportunities are limited.

Although I haven’t been successful at getting “crazy guy” to stop calling, I’m confident I will. Well, that or I’ll figure out how to block his number.

You Have to Call People by Their Names

My work life has been pretty stressful lately, making me slightly more sensitive to things that I might otherwise let slide. For example, one of my co-workers is named Mary Kay. She signs her name, answers the phone and comes up in our email address book that way. She and I work with a number of external parties, and every so often one of them fails to register her full name. They send emails directed to Mary. She’s too nice to correct them, but it drives me nuts.

I have another friend named Julia, and she gets a lot of Julie instead. I can accept that these names are very close (‘a’ and ‘e’ are at least on the same side of the keyboard) but once you’ve known someone for a period of time you should be paying enough attention that you register their name correctly.

The thing is, it’s not about how close to the name you are, changing a name slightly to another name is just like calling someone named “Matt” by the name “Joe”. You aren’t using their name and it’s rude, whether you’re doing it on purpose or not. YOU HAVE TO CALL PEOPLE BY THEIR NAMES.

Now most of the time I advocate an indirect, tactful way to let people know they’re crossing a line, be it personal boundary, social behavior, etc. Sometimes, though, when there isn’t any ambiguity as to what is right and what is wrong in a situation, you can point out the error directly and ask the offender to correct him/herself going forward. This is one of those situations, and I've found that it’s pretty gratifying.

I’ve been sending emails to the offenders of my co-worker Mary Kay, friendly notes correcting the offenders and asking that they make the adjustment since they’ll be working with her on an on-going basis. Too nice or not, I know it bothers her when people don’t make the effort to call her by her name and it can negatively effect their working relationship.

I’ve gotten some positive responses back thanking me for the correction. That won’t always be the case, but I believe that most of the time people aren’t being offensive on purpose. They just don’t know any better. But now you do!

Call people by their names and help others out when they’re using the wrong ones. You’re Welcome.