You Have to Call People by Their Names

My work life has been pretty stressful lately, making me slightly more sensitive to things that I might otherwise let slide. For example, one of my co-workers is named Mary Kay. She signs her name, answers the phone and comes up in our email address book that way. She and I work with a number of external parties, and every so often one of them fails to register her full name. They send emails directed to Mary. She’s too nice to correct them, but it drives me nuts.

I have another friend named Julia, and she gets a lot of Julie instead. I can accept that these names are very close (‘a’ and ‘e’ are at least on the same side of the keyboard) but once you’ve known someone for a period of time you should be paying enough attention that you register their name correctly.

The thing is, it’s not about how close to the name you are, changing a name slightly to another name is just like calling someone named “Matt” by the name “Joe”. You aren’t using their name and it’s rude, whether you’re doing it on purpose or not. YOU HAVE TO CALL PEOPLE BY THEIR NAMES.

Now most of the time I advocate an indirect, tactful way to let people know they’re crossing a line, be it personal boundary, social behavior, etc. Sometimes, though, when there isn’t any ambiguity as to what is right and what is wrong in a situation, you can point out the error directly and ask the offender to correct him/herself going forward. This is one of those situations, and I've found that it’s pretty gratifying.

I’ve been sending emails to the offenders of my co-worker Mary Kay, friendly notes correcting the offenders and asking that they make the adjustment since they’ll be working with her on an on-going basis. Too nice or not, I know it bothers her when people don’t make the effort to call her by her name and it can negatively effect their working relationship.

I’ve gotten some positive responses back thanking me for the correction. That won’t always be the case, but I believe that most of the time people aren’t being offensive on purpose. They just don’t know any better. But now you do!

Call people by their names and help others out when they’re using the wrong ones. You’re Welcome.