If You Don’t Have Time to Talk to Someone, Send them to Voice Mail.

I’m one of those people who are really focused when busy and have a hard time shifting gears. I’m most like that at work, when I am deep in the throws of multitasking. When my phone rings during these moments I know I do not want to be disturbed.

I stare at the phone and think, I am too fussy to take this call, but then I pick it up and usually respond in a completely unwarranted crabby manner. I often end the conversation after a few sentences by saying “I can’t talk right now” in a snippy tone, even though it was I that answered the phone in the first place. I do it even though I know its inappropriate and makes me feel bad.

Worst of all, I do this most to my mother. I’m not sure whether it’s a child/parent guilt thing – like I feel it is bad to send your mom to voice mail on purpose – or what, but when I see her number on my cell I almost always pick it up.

Shame on me! I know when I’m not in the mood for chit-chatting but instead of waiting until I am I take out whatever stress about work or whatever out on whoever is on the other end of the line.

I’ve apologized to my mother already for my tendency to answer the phone in annoyance, and vowed to do it less but it isn’t just my mom’s feelings I need to be mindful of. Calls from business associates can also come at a bad time, plus they can be about tense situations.

Answering these calls when you are already stressed usually results in unnecessary shortness on your part, which can damage the work you’re trying to accomplish, your business relationship with that person or even your general reputation. IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK TO SOMEONE, SEND THEM TO VOICE MAIL.

Even with caller ID answering the phone is something of a wild card; you never know what’s going to come over the line. Will it be a short, friendly call? Will it be an in-depth discussion about your friend’s roommate’s boyfriend’s antics? Sending a call to voicemail affords you the opportunity to hear what the caller wanted, giving you the information you need to decide whether now is a good (or bad) time for that conversation. If the call does require immediate attention, you will at least have the benefit of knowing the basic subject matter.

Misplacing frustration can be rude at best and irreparable at its worst; not everyone is as forgiving as my mother. The next time your phone rings consider your options: send it to voice mail and wait until you’re ready (even if that isn’t for a few hours) or take a deep breath and be ready to answer it. Either way, it’s your call.